


Chapter 39.5 from Go Off the Deep End

by DarkAcey



Series: Go Off the Deep End and companion works [4]
Category: Original Work, The Little Mermaid - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - The Little Mermaid Fusion, Bisexual Male Character, Discussion of Abortion, Gay Male Character, Hermaphrodites, M/M, Mpreg, Slow Burn, Worldbuilding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-22
Updated: 2018-02-22
Packaged: 2019-03-22 15:04:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13766679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkAcey/pseuds/DarkAcey
Summary: This is an extra chapter that didn't fit into my main work, Go Off the Deep End. Please start there if you're interested in these characters/story.





	Chapter 39.5 from Go Off the Deep End

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Go Off the Deep End](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11100243) by [DarkAcey](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkAcey/pseuds/DarkAcey). 



> While writing a kinky one-shot about Silas and Erick, I inadvertently ended up writing a new chapter that takes place smack-dab in the middle of chapter 39's time skip. The specific paragraph this chapter takes place in is this one: 
> 
> "Over the next several days, Silas alternated between going to combat training and showing Erick around the rest of Peleran. He introduced him to mers he knew outside the market chasm and took him to shrines throughout the shoal to see statues of each of the gods and goddesses. When Silas ran out of things to show Erick around Peleran, they went to the squidball court to play catch and work on Erick’s coordination underwater since he still tended to use his hands to stay upright. Because Erick and Gale still preferred to avoid each other, Silas only visited Gale in the evening whenever he wasn’t completely worn out by training."
> 
> I want to put this into the main story, but I'm not sure how to revise chapter 39 to make this chapter fit. I could squeeze it literally in the middle, but that dilutes the focus chapter 39 currently has. If I split it in half and make two or three new chapters, that'll screw up the chapter numbers all the way through the rest of this story. 
> 
> For now, this will just be it's own separate thing.

Chapter 39.5

“Can you see it now?” Silas asked Erick, pointing ahead as they swam towards a statue made indistinct through the haze of water. Since the guards’ recruits were having a day to take a break from training, Silas decided to teach Erick about merfolk’s gods and goddesses with his free morning. “Jonallei’s altar is down there.”

“I can see it a little,” Erick answered. The statue of the Coral Mother Jonallei grew more distinct as they neared it, and Erick saw that this goddess had octopus tentacles roped around a mountain of coral instead of a fish tail and an odd headscarf that resembled an octopus’ bag-like mantle. Her hands were cupped in front of her ample waist, her eyes watching lovingly over the glass eggs in her palms. “How do merfolk know what their gods look like if nobody can see spirits?”

“The gods and goddesses showed themselves to the first merfolk, so what they looked like were passed down in our stories,” Silas answered. “After Kazima, Jonallei was the second goddess to appear before the first merfolk. She taught us how to respect the coral and helped us make our first homes underwater.”

“Did home-making include stuff about families too, or just building your houses?” Erick asked, studying how the intricately carved stone tentacles curled around staghorn and brain corals.

“No, she teaches us about family stuff too, and how to be a good member of the shoal,” Silas answered. “We call her the coral mother because she basically adopted all of us. After the island spirit Parumalu abandoned the first merfolk, she decided to keep care of the living merfolk because Kazima only claimed responsibility for the spirits of merfolk who passed on to the abyss.” Pointing at the glass eggs in her hands, he continued, “Those eggs are supposed to represent each of the shoals she watches over.”

“That so?” Erick glanced back up at her hands and her face. She had homely, round cheeks like a nursemaid Ivan briefly employed to help care for him. “I don’t suppose any of those eggs are supposed to represent any city on land?”

“No, but one egg is for all the mers who don’t claim any particular place as their home, like the nomadic tribes. Whether we live in the reefs, shorelines, or open ocean, she thinks of all of us as her children.” Silas smiled at Erick. “I’m sure she would adopt you too.”

Erick only hummed in acknowledgement, lost in thought. He had never actively considered following any religion after he lost his faith in God, but he wondered if merfolk gods were worth believing in. Though they hadn’t done much to win his devotion, his tail proved the existence of some kind of higher power.

“Well, as long as we’re here, we might as well pay our respects,” Silas said, looking away awkwardly. He rubbed the back of his neck as he let himself drift down to the base of Jonallei’s altar. After he folded his tail beneath himself, he waited for Erick to follow suit and then folded his hands on his lap.

While Erick waited uncomfortably, Silas silently thanked Jonallei for continuing to protect his father and friends in Peleran, and asked her on Erick’s behalf to help him feel more welcome in the shoal. He told her how he believed Erick was a good merman deep down, but that he just needed a little help believing it himself. Then, hesitating a moment, he asked Jonallei to help him be a good father if Erick became pregnant. The image of Erick’s stomach growing with their child terrified him, but it also made him feel even more protective of the former human. That Erick was physically larger and stronger did nothing to diminish that feeling in Silas’ mind. If anything, it only made Silas want to care for him even more, since he imagined caring for him could make him feel less inadequate about his youth and slim physique.

Silas got back up after a moment. He did not tell Erick what he had said to Jonallei, and Erick didn’t ask. Since there were other altars to visit, Silas put back on his smile and took Erick to meet the other gods and goddesses.

* * *

That evening, after Silas, his father, and Erick retired to their bed alcoves, Silas stayed up thinking about the prayers he made to each of the gods and goddesses around the shoal. He had asked Lucero, the Pearl Idol and patron god of love to help his relationship with Erick, but he worried that he wasn’t doing enough to earn his affection. Silas wanted to take things slow, to help get Erick used to being a merman first and foremost, but he had no idea if that would be enough to build anything between them too. Should he be trying to woo him as well? Since Erick knew about Silas’ crush on him, Silas assumed it would be pointless to try to force anything. Either Erick would eventually return Silas’ feelings, or he wouldn’t.

His more pressing worry was about Erick’s potential pregnancy. Silas could live with Erick never loving him back, but he didn’t know what he would do if Erick actually ended up with child and rejected it anyway. The idea of becoming a father scared him, but it was worse than thinking of almost being one.

Since Silas had always been the youngest of everyone he knew, he was always someone else’s responsibility. His father had to provide for him and his maternal father, Gale and Merise babysat him and kept him healthy, Jeb got him his spot on Monty’s salvaging team and sold his finds, and Monty ran all of the salvaging trips Silas joined. The one person Silas tried to care for before Erick fell into his life was his maternal father, but all of Silas’ efforts couldn’t stop his illness from consuming him.

Between Merise’s visits to bring medicine and check up on his maternal father, Silas spent long afternoons reading to him on the sponges of their living room floor. When Silas should have been out playing with other boys his age, he played tile games with him and made beaded bracelets. In his maternal father’s last weeks, when he grew too weak to even hold up a fork, Silas fed him and wouldn’t let anyone else help. Silas made Gale take him to Jonallei’s altar almost every week to pray for his maternal father’s health. After he died when Silas was eight, Silas blamed himself for a long time because he had heard his father crying at Merise’s house.

Gale had been babysitting Silas at his house, just as he had been in the months leading up to his maternal father’s death, but they had gone back to Merise’s house for dinner when Ronan was late coming home. They had stopped outside the front door when they heard Ronan crying and Merise trying to console him. He had said that his husband never fully recovered after having their son, so he was hating himself because he wished in a moment of weakness that he could have traded his son for his husband back. Silas had run back home and cried after he said that, and Gale had to interrupt Ronan and Merise to tell them that Silas heard them.

Ronan apologized and promised that he didn’t mean it, but the knowledge that his father had felt that way even briefly stuck with Silas. As Silas grew up and his father continued being protective of him out of fear of losing him too, Silas obeyed his rules because he thought it was the only way to make his maternal father’s death okay. It took a lot of bravery for Silas to convince his father to let him become a salvager, but he still wasn’t really responsible for anyone. He hadn’t been given the opportunity to care for anyone else but himself.

Now he had both Erick and possibly a child to worry about, and he didn’t want to sacrifice one to save the other. He didn’t want anyone else to die because of him.

**Author's Note:**

> Now, if you want that smutty one-shot with Silas and Erick, just go to the next work in this series. This chapter is what sets up the fears present in Silas' dream/nightmare.


End file.
